It has been a while since I wrote my last blog.

Today’s blog I am dedicating to a lady who’s always been a mother to me in fact so much more. She was with me in my happiness and sadness. She is no-one else but my own maternal grandmother whom we in Hindi call Nani. She died a week back on 02.18.21.

My Nani has always been a special person who loved me since I was a child and protected me from my mother’s scoldings and beatings too. There are a lot of memories which I have with her the last one being when she came for my wedding. She travelled to my house and immediately after entering came and sat next to me where the god-worshipping was taking place. On the day of my wedding she woke up early helping me getting dressed.

When I was a child no summer vacation went by without my Nana-Nani (grandparents) in it. We would go to our village for a month and my sweet Nani would feed us with her own hands everyday. She was extremely hard-working and would do all the household chores like cleaning, washing, cooking, farming etc. I as a child would go with her to backyard farms where she would show me the different fruits on trees, vegetables grown and different birds. She would make mango pickles during summers which I loved eating.

A few years back I was doing my masters when I was diagnosed with Dengue. She was there too to take care of me giving me juices and medicines every few hours and saying I am going to be fine soon.

To me she was my everything and if I could exchange my life for hers would have meant so much. In one of the memories which I have of her was fifteen years ago when my brother was born. She came to my place and stayed with us for a period of one month. She took care of her daughter (my mother), her grandson (my brother) and us (my sisters and me). She would cook, pack our lunch boxes for school, bathe the little one and feed my mother everyday. Every morning she would ask me what I would prefer for my lunch in school. She never allowed me to help her in kitchen saying I should focus on my studies as it was my tenth.

With so many memories of her I don’t think I can ever forget her. I have never seen a soul who has been so pure as that of hers with no feelings of jealously or hate for anyone. She only showered people with love around her and that’s how I remember her and will always.

I being in a different country so far from her could not even pay my last visit to her. I always wonder why do we have to lose people around us whom we love so much? The fact that I can never see her now or hear her voice again pains my heart. She left this world leaving behind a caring husband, seven children and fifteen grand-children, all of whom are in deep-grief of losing her. I only pray to god to give her soul rest and some peace as in her last days she went through the pain of having heart attack.

On her last day she was dressed like a bride and taken for the last rites. I could not stop myself from admiring that she looked like a goddess with so much beauty, kindness and peace that I never saw in my life.

Indians have a tradition of burning the dead-bodies of their loved ones as their last-rites and taking their ashes to river and allowing it to mix it with water. As we believe our bodies are made of water, fire and earth (soil) and after death so should our bodies be a part of it. We don’t have any graves or gravestones where we can go spend time remembering the ones whom we lost. I don’t know if this makes me more sad that there is not going to be a place where I could go and believe she’s there sleeping forever.

With her gone and me being helpless for I could not do anything for her I would request and encourage you to spend your precious time with your loved ones. Don’t waste time in doing things which really do not matter and make memories which you could cherish forever.